Tales from the End of the Road; Living through COVID19 in Key West Part 6

May 3, 2020:

Quarantine Day 47:

If you’ve ever worked in the restaurant industry, you know that a walk-in cooler is your saving grace when you want to unleash unbridled rage without looking like an absolute psycho in front of your coworkers or clientele. Especially on a hot day, if I was ever pissed off to the extreme, I would make my way to any of the giant-sized refrigerators in any of the restaurants I’ve ever worked and let out a giant roar of despair before fixing myself and walking back to the bar with a lime or an orange I absolutely didn’t need.

 Today I wished I had a walk-in cooler to use as a scream room as I dealt, yet again, with the Florida unemployment website. I won’t bore you with the details, but I know we are getting jerked around over and over by our own state government and I feel helpless. I’m trying to keep my hopes up. I filled out yet another application, but I’ve been keeping my fingers crossed for so long that they’re starting to hurt.

May 4, 2020:

Quarantine Day 48:

People tell me I’ll look back on this journal and be glad I wrote my thoughts down. I’m not sure they’re right about that. Sometimes, it’s really depressing, and why would I want to remind myself of that?

It’s reminds me of something a dear friend once told me during my divorce last year:

“This too shall pass,” she said, “but you have to remember that, even when times are good. This too shall pass.”

Maybe, when the times are absolutely amazing, I’ll dig this puppy up from my hard drive and remind myself that life can change in an instant. I understand the concept, but it’s hard when you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it’s hard when you can’t even see the damn tunnel around the curve.

May 5, 2020:

Quarantine Day 49:

A Cinco de Mayo haiku that I actually wrote myself after several, several margaritas:

Oh taco, taco

Salsa, guac, sour cream top

Better add cheddar


I’m really good at the short ones.

May 6, 2020:

Quarantine Day 50:

One of my best friends had her baby tonight after 40 hours of labor! I can’t even imagine. She was supposed to have her mom and mother-in-law in the delivery room with her and her husband, but due to COVID-19, she could not. But mom and baby are both happy and healthy, thank goodness.

UPDATE: I got to FaceTime with the new mama, and she said that the grandmas are not yet able to hold the baby, but they were able to come over with proper PPE and at least look at her from a distance. How crazy it will be to tell this baby girl about the global pandemic into which she was born.

May 7, 2020:

Quarantine Day 51:

Beach day! As I strapped myself into my bikini this morning, I noticed that things were getting a little, umm, overgrown down under. It’s been two months since I saw my wax lady, who I’ve been seeing once a month for three years and who also acts as my therapist while she rips the hair off my undercarriage before pushing me back out her door an efficient thirteen minutes later. It’s the healthiest relationship I’ve ever had.

Because of COVID-19, she understandably ceased her operations for the time being. Until the other day, when I got a glorious message:

“Hey girl! I’ve been thinking, I could wax you if we both wear masks and I have sanitizer provided as you enter and leave.”

DONE. I Venmoed her immediately and told her I’d let her know when it started to look like Jumanji down there. In the words of Rafiki from Lion King, “It is time.” Here today, GONE TOMORROW.

May 8, 2020:

Quarantine Day 52:


What was worse was getting in the ocean immediately afterward (yes, social distancing). I’m really taking this getting to the beach thing to a crazy level. Calm the heck down, Lucy. I’m beginning to peel like one of the ancient komodo-sized iguanas that lounge around and crap in people’s pools. Don’t worry, I’m not pooping in people’s pools yet. But I am peeling the skin off my shoulders and staring, fascinated, at the raw flesh underneath.

Cocoa Butter Haiku:

Sweet cocoa butter

Soft, supple, smoother than silk

Scaly skin is gone

We’re supposed to get storms next week, so this is probably the last day I’ll frolic with the sea for a bit. Like I’ve said before, we need those storms to cool the Keys as hurricane season approaches. I BLESS THE RAINS.

May 9, 2020:

Quarantine Day 53:

In preparation for our rainy mini-season, I didn’t get out of bed today, and I’m quite proud of it. I have been catching up on Netflix, Hulu, and the like. My mom sent me toilet paper through Amazon weeks ago, and it finally got here. Eight enormous restaurant industrial-style toilet paper! We’ll be good through hurricane season at this rate! We’re toilet-paper rich!

LBB Lauryn Lucy Brooke is a bartender who lives in Key West, Florida. Her favorite activities used to be traveling, scuba diving, and hanging out with friends. None of which she can do now.  Lauryn has a Masters Degree in Journalism from CUNY.


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